The Older I Get, The Less Interested I Am in Perfection

The older I get, the less interested I am in perfection. Not just in photography, but in almost every part of life. I think there was a time when I believed beautiful photographs were created through flawless styling, perfect posing, and carefully controlled moments. I thought the goal was to refine everything until nothing appeared messy or out of place. These days, I find myself drawn to something entirely different. The photographs that stay with me now are rarely the perfect ones. They are the honest ones.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve become more aware of how much time women spend trying to perfect themselves before they allow themselves to be seen. So many of us have been taught to look at ourselves through a lens of constant self-assessment. We notice every flaw before we notice our presence. We apologise for our bodies, for ageing, for feeling awkward, for taking up space. I see it constantly in my work. Women arrive at photoshoots already convinced they are going to “do it wrong.” They tell me they hate being photographed. They warn me they are awkward. They laugh nervously before we have even begun. Underneath all of that is usually the same quiet fear: that they won’t be enough as they are.

I understand that feeling more now than I used to. Life has a way of softening certain edges while sharpening others. I think age has made me gentler with myself in some ways and far less tolerant of impossible standards in others. I no longer find perfection interesting because perfection often feels disconnected from real life. The people I’m most drawn to are not the most polished people in the room. They are the people who feel grounded, authentic, expressive, and fully themselves. There is something deeply magnetic about someone who is no longer performing constantly for the approval of others. This photo of me was shot on a beach after an early morning photoshoot. I wanted casual but friendly. Technically this image could do with improving but for me, it needed to be a true representation of how I was feeling that day. Just "cruisy"!

That shift has completely changed the way I photograph people. Earlier in my career, I probably noticed technical perfection first. I focused heavily on details, symmetry, posing, and making sure everything looked “right.” Those things still matter, of course, but they are no longer the heart of what I do. What matters most to me now is how somebody feels during a session. I pay attention to the moment their shoulders drop and they stop holding tension in their body. I notice when their smile becomes genuine instead of polite. I notice the moment they stop analysing themselves and simply exist in front of the camera. That is where the magic always is.

I think this is especially true for women. There is often a quiet transition that happens as we get older. We begin to realise how exhausting it is to spend our lives trying to remain endlessly acceptable. At some point, many women begin craving authenticity more than approval. We want to feel comfortable instead of perfect. We want to be seen properly instead of simply appearing polished. We start understanding that beauty has very little to do with flawlessness and everything to do with presence, confidence, warmth, depth, and humanity.

Maybe that is one of the unexpected gifts of getting older. You slowly stop chasing the exhausting idea of becoming perfect and begin returning to yourself instead. To me, that is where real beauty begins.